MUSINGS

I don't always edit before I hit submit.

Hinges

Your happiness does not hinge
on everybody liking you
on being or fucking a hairless 21-year old woman
or on making your first million.
Not on owning a better car or house
or on moving to a new place.
It does not depend on your job
Or finding a perfect partner, lover, mate.
Your happiness is just a choice you make
Nearly every single day.
And that
hinges
on you.

HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME.

A running list of recommendations if you’re trying to connect with me.

  1. Your email subject line should contain in one line exactly what you need from me. The body copy can provide additional clarification and instructions.

  2. I process complicated ideas better via writing, but prefer to communicate them verbally. This means, if you have questions for me, you should write them out and send them to me ahead of time so that I can understand them, prepare, and offer a clear answer.

  3. For quick fact-type questions such as: “where can I find this?” or “what day is this happening”, please exhaust ALL of your resources before coming to me. I will ask you where you have looked and where else you might find that information. Or put more bluntly, what would you do if you needed that and I was dead?

  4. My mornings and evenings are sacred. I tend to need a break in the afternoons, too. So you’ll catch me at my carefully structured work windows, which often shift throughout the day. I batch my work by category, so you will not see me answering emails throughout the day. If you require urgent information, please connect with my assistant, Melissa. She will make sure you are taken care of and get exactly what you need.

  5. If you are seeking a loan consultation, please complete the application here. We will follow up with you to schedule a time to go over your mortgage options.

  6. If you are looking for general information about the loan process or my, please click through those links to watch a video answering basic questions. I would love to answer any questions you have on a zoom call. To schedule that, see instructions in the previous paragraph.

  7. I am neurodivergent. For me that shows up in that I take things very literally, and often don’t understand sarcasm. I like connecting with you as a human, but I am also consciously observing and studying things people are saying and how they say them to better understand them.

  8. I am also emotional. I speak from my heart, and don’t always filter what I’m saying. Sometimes that reads as brisk or blunt, sometimes it doesn’t make sense, and sometimes it is just straight up offensive or rude. I never intend to do harm, but intent isn’t always good enough, so I hope you’ll forgive me for being human. I will strive to always offer the same compassion to you.

  9. A text message is not urgent to me. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t important. Sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking of a response so I let it swirl in my mind for days until I feel guilty about it, but I’m working on that… sometimes I don’t have an answer yet, sometimes I just forget because I saw it while I was doing something else and wasn’t in a position to respond. If you need my attention and haven’t heard from me, give me a call -- I’ll very likely pick up or get back to you quickly if it’s not too early in the morning or late in the evening.

  10. I prefer text messages that are short + quick. Anything longer should be a call, an email, or a conversation in person. (BUT NEVER IN A “MEETING”. I’m not available for those.)


MR. WRITE

I fall in love easily.

I’ve been going on dates with seeing validation and attention, but the more effort I spend writing, the more I want to write.

I’m falling in love with my book in a way I used to fall in love with boys.

Except for that writing feels fantastic and flirty and these guys are dull as ducks.

So I am dedicating my romance to writing: giving it considerate care and plenty of pleasure. I am offering my affection and undivided attention in exchange for the feeling of pure satisfaction, of succumbing to that something special that defies time and space. I’m diverting my attraction from sex and relationships to this creative endeavor, the book.

It feels like pregnancy, a labor of love.

I am in the early phases of writing and hopeful for the birth of my future baby.

And so I will love myself abundantly and give the rest to my book.

For this is a season

Of creation.


When Can You Expect A Reply?

Hey there,

I don't always check my email. Why? 

Because of a quote I once heard that says:

Your inbox is a list of other people’s priorities.

And while I love and appreciate my clients’ + colleagues’ requests, I like to spend my day prioritizing my tasks by what is most important for me to get done and unfortunately that isn’t usually email.

So if you’re looking for a response to a message you sent me and it’s not urgent, here is when you might anticipate a reply:

MY “INBOX” HOURS:

Monday - Friday | 10-10:30a. 12-1p, 4-5p

If your request requires an immediate response outside these time windows, please email my team or text my cell phone.

And if you’re trying to catch me after 7pm or on weekends, please expect a slightly longer-than-normal response time, though I will do my best to get back to you within a few hours on urgent matters.

Thanks for taking the time to read my communication preferences. I’d love to know what works best for you (time of day? email/call/text…) so we can maximize our experience working together.

Want to jump the queue and set up a time to speak with me? Let me know here.

Pandemic of Pandemonium

The pandemic is greeted by pandemonium, and it’s no surprise. 

To humans, who are programmed to want to maintain balance and control, the level of uncertainty that surrounds us fuels the stress and anxiety of our surroundings spiraling into complete chaos.

We seek to understand -- through bits of media, we consume in bite-sized pieces, accepting those that align with our political and social beliefs and ignoring the ones that make us most uncomfortable.

We panic, hoarding toilet paper, and purchasing non-perishables we’ll probably never partake.

In a world that has been uprooted by the presence of a new virus, we frantically scramble to keep order in our lives and maintain some semblance of the perception of control -- that we are in fact the masters of our lives.

A reminder: there are hundreds and hundreds of them circulating the globe each day -- you might even have one, HPV, HSV, even the regular flu are quite common and equally misunderstood, though admittedly less fatal. 150,000 people die every single day*, but it’s the additional 300 currently added to the count that causes this additional stress.

I am enjoying this time as a universal reminder to everyone: we are not, and never were in control. We love to think as humans that our infrastructure and systems are what keep the world moving. Our economy keeps people alive (or rather, not dead, and productive), the stock market slowly ticking the value of each party’s contribution.

But the reality is, most of it is meaningless.

There’s never been a better time for truly embracing the nihilism that nothing matters than now, when the systems we were conditioned to trust have shattered. 

Worldwide and local travel has ceased. Restaurants, events, stores, and small businesses are shut down. The value of our stock portfolios have diminished, and most of the collective forms of community, capitalism, and social infrastructure are crumbling, whether by government mandate or by choice.

People are panicking. How will we continue to feed our families (the administration has promised to help, at least a little)? What will my life look like tomorrow if I don’t have this job, or this house, or this car, or this family member by my side?

The truth is, these things are always under threat. Coronavirus has just shone a giant spotlight on the fragility of all of it, snatching souls and savings from us in what feels like a matter of seconds.

Nature exists in this state: conflicting forces of chaos + entropy. She accepts both and does not try to control them for they are larger and more powerful than Mother Nature herself.

She trusts the balance and flow, that tides come and go, seasons bring life and death.

So in a time when many are preaching the importance of STAYING PRODUCTIVE I am practicing patience and watching. Observing the world move around me, watching blades of grass wave in the wind. Planting seeds in my garden to grow the only nourishment I need. Slowing down and learning to listen to my body and what she wants. 

This human form which is equipped to survive without work, bills, empire building, fancy clothes, and restaurant meals -- these are all programmed beliefs, attributable to the 21st century western society I inhabit.

It feels freeing to let them go.

To live my life on my own terms. With slow mornings, sipping coffee in the sun, writing pages that pass through pen to paper as easily as blood flows from my body.

Eventually, I’ll check my email and attend to the people whose goals I help accomplish in order to collect the paycheck that provides me the luxury of this free time, funding my dreams. The cost is quite high, and I recognize it is not sustainable as a choice I can continue to mindlessly make day after day.

So for now, I get back to the work of others, but with a renewed promise that I will continue to put myself first -- honoring my intentions, my spirit, my soul’s purpose, which surely isn’t to get rich or die trying.

That is not the life for me.

What is Essential?

I received official paperwork this week stating my role as an essential worker. It’s ironic, really, since my job is to help people get mortgages in a time when the housing industry and mortgage economy are fracturing and on the edge of a major collapse.

But my job is to sell debt and make rich white men much richer, essentially essential.

Capitalist America.

It seems dystopian, and yet this is the world we’ve been living in our entire lives. The current pandemic just shines a light on things in a new way.

What is essential? 

The things we actually need to survive.

Every few months I work on my budget and look at the items I can reduce to cut expenses and increase funds for paying down debt and investing.

But looking at my subscriptions it was hard to let go of things I felt I needed and was easily able to justify.

Expensive gym membership? Need it, so I can stay physically and mentally strong.

Now my workouts consist of walks in the woods and weeding my vegetable garden.

Luxury clothing rental? Required to look and feel good in front of clients and referral partners.

I’ve worn the same few items for the past week and every day they get dirty.

Eating out when I’m on the run and dining at nice restaurants with friends? [Essential] for my social life to maintain momentum.

Each day I spend a couple of hours prepping and cooking fresh, delicious food for my partner and the select people I’m still interacting with.

My cars, gasoline, oil changes, plane tickets, and expensive hotel stays? Necessary to get around locally, and the travel gives me something to look forward to.

Grounded at home I’m left to explore the world I live in now. I’m grateful that it’s a 140-acre ranch and not a 140-square foot apartment in a big city, but I still feel trapped.

The infrastructure we’ve trusted is crashing down and the economy is collapsing with it, which makes it very clear what is truly essential.

Shelter. Water. Food. Information.

A fraction of the things I believed, only weeks ago, that was mandatory for my lifestyle are no longer relevant.

I’m grateful for this stark reminder. Like moving out of your house -- you have the opportunity to cull through your belongings sorting what should stay and what should go. We’ve collectively been given a chance to evaluate our essentials.

What, and who, do you truly need?

ATX FLIP: Before + After

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Two years ago I embarked on a new kind of adventure and like most of those I take, I was wildly unprepared.

Fueled by a false confidence in my construction skills, a fierce overestimation in my free time, and a slight financial cushion, I jumped blindly and excitedly into a house purchase and renovation.
With the help of my family and friends, we demolished the interior of a home in (south) East Austin and slowly pieced it back together.

I learned a lot throughout this project, and despite the trauma and tears I would (and will) do it again soon.

In full cliché, sometimes I think: it wasn’t the house that was being built. This house was building me.

It taught be to be a better delegator, to work with and trust those who are more talented than me in order to produce a masterpiece. It refined my ability to plan my time, make quick decisions, and it sharpen my discipline. And hot damn did it teach me a new kind of patience.

Compared to the people I admire, it seems like such a small accomplishment to have been able to purchase this simple 1,000 square foot house and renovate it myself.

But we don’t put the ‘before’ photo of one building next to the ‘after’ of another and pick apart differences, so why would I be so quick to compare myself to others?

The only comparison we should be looking at against the current version of ourselves is how far we’ve come from who we used to be.

This might seem to be one tiny achievement for a developer or full time real estate investor. But for 2009 Richelle, who was looking longingly at houses to purchase and renovate with $44 in her bank account, this is magnificent.

A gentle reminder to stop comparing yourself to others — it’s like sampling apples and oranges and becoming frustrated that they don’t taste the same.

Stick to shaping your soul into the best version of yourself and you’ll always be winning. ✨


THE JOURNEY

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the importance of the entire process. Beginnings are exciting and the ends triumphant, but in the middle it can be a little confusing and easy to get lost. In the midst of tedious tasks and stressful days with no immediate signs of progress it can feel like your work is futile and want to give up. Day after day, the rejection, unexpected issues, uncertainty, burnout, frustration, chaos, and even sometimes boredom can cause you to want to throw in the towel and quit.

Our life is like a sea of stars on a clear summer night; infinite specs of seemingly insignificant situations and settings. It isn’t until we sit still and stare closely at the spots that we start to see the faint lines connecting constellations. Your mind begins to form patterns and shapes that show significance as you slowly start to realize that they are all interconnected — all strung together to create one vibrant, detailed story.

There are many regular moments when ask myself, ‘why the hell am I going through this?’ or ‘what the hell am I doing?’ only to realize the answer to those questions several years down the road. As the least patient person on the planet, this is really, really hard for me but I’m learning to trust that all the bullshit that seems to be for nothing is actually for something… I just can’t see it yet.

Building anything beautiful takes a ton of work and when you’re in construction mode every single day it’s hard to see the progress. 

Sometimes you have to revisit the before to see what a huge difference you’ve made. Looking back, you can see exactly what you’ve done and who you’ve become as a result. 

Have gratitude for the entire journey, my friends. The adventure is a beautiful one.